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You may not know this about me, but I’m easily bored. I was summoned to jury duty today, one of the most mind-numbing experiences one can have in this world, and I thought I’d keep myself (and, hopefully, others) amused by live-tweeting the experience. So here are my tweets from today:

8:38 AM ‏@TheKaufmann At the courthouse for #JuryDuty. Everyone looks SO happy to be here.

9:59 AM @TheKaufmann This #JuryDuty orientation video is hilarious! Must’ve been made in the ’80s or early ’90s, judging from the women’s enormous shoulder pads.

‏9:59 AM @TheKaufmann Video opens with a cheesy medieval trial-by-ordeal scene. “If only juries had been around then, none of this would have happened!” #JuryDuty

10:00 AM @TheKaufmann Later, when it laments how the Roman emperors did away with juries, THE VIDEO SHOWS JESUS BEING CRUCIFIED AS A RESULT! #JuryDuty

10:08 AM @TheKaufmann If only the Romans had kept juries! Then Christianity never would have happened!

2:07 PM @TheKaufmann The view from the court house. ‪#JuryDuty‬ pic.twitter.com/o7C7A5pZ

3:46 PM @TheKaufmann Narrowly avoided being selected for a jury after world’s longest voir dire! #JuryDuty

3:59 PM @TheKaufmann Dismissed for the next eight years! #JuryDuty

It really was the longest voir dire ever. There were about forty of us called for a criminal trial, and we all had to be questioned. It took pretty much all day, so at least jury duty passed quickly. The judge was cool, too. Very funny, very open, and completely committed to the principle that the defendant was innocent until proven guilty. That was very heartening! Anyway, now I’m free until 2020, when Twitter will be obsolete, so next time I’ll probably be live BleepBlorping the experience.

Saturday, May 19, was It’s My Park Day here in New York City. Since the front door of our apartment building basically opens up onto the St. Marks Children’s Park, Alexa and I were thrilled to be involved in the clean-up and beautification process along with our neighbors from all up and down the block. The kids in particular seemed really  excited to have something special to do like planting flowers or painting. It was a great experience, and almost everything we planted is still thriving, despite some local knuckleheads who insist on dropping their litter in the plant beds or letting their dogs poop and pee in them. Seriously, what’s up with that?

Anyway, here are a few photos taken during It’s My Park Day, courtesy of my neighbor Rebecca Fuller, who on top of being a talented photographer also makes a mean shrimp, corn, and potato boil.

Planting flowers with one of my tinier neighbors. Not only was she very helpful, she took a lot of pride in her work.

This is me getting more flowers ready to plant, not to mention enjoying a bit of shade on a hot, sunny day. Not that it did much good. By the end of the day, I learned where the expression “redneck” truly comes from.

Today, Alexa and I celebrate our first wedding anniversary! It’s hard to believe it’s been a whole year. Time is really flying. But to celebrate, last week I took her to see her favorite musical, Jesus Christ Superstar, on Broadway, and tonight we’re dining at the dim sum place in Chinatown where we ate after the ceremony. In the meantime, here are some pictures from the big day for you to enjoy:

As you can see, there was quite a crowd at our nuptials! Though I don’t know why Darkseid was there. He totally wasn’t invited. Wedding crasher. And he ate like six plates of chicken!

Here we are posing with our good friend Bruce Wayne Batman. He wore his best suit for the occasion. I’m glad he left the Joel Schumacher nipples at home, though.

Did I mention Alexa’s bouquet contained carnivorous pitcher plants? Yeah, I married the right gal. Here’s to many more years, sweetie!

Spotted in Greenwich Village.

My favorite part is that the price stickers on the books read, “Imperialist tax included.”